Thoughts from your counselor
This section will cover topics that went through my mind as I practice being a counselor for families living overseas. I will also touch on topics such as values, world view, race, human rights, discrimination, prejudice, sexual orientation.
Living in a diverse world
I think it's always a challenge to live with people who are so different from you. When you get married, you think how wonderful it would be to live with someone whom you share so much in common. But sometimes that same person may end up being someone whom you just can't stand living together because of so much of the difference in life styles, values, norms, etc.
I personally like inviting people over to my house. I like to have people stay over at my house and I also like to stay over with others. However, the Japanese people in general are not so. They value privacy, they value family, relatives. So, they may not invite you for dinner or invite you to stay over as a guest. One Japanese said to me, "We are very private people. Even though they might say, 'well next time, you must come over to our place', they don't really mean it. They just say it to be polite. The Japanese people do not invite strangers, not even friends over to your house. The extent to who they invite would be strictly limited to families and relatives. So if they want to meet with others, they feel inviting them to a restaurant would be the most courteous way." When I heard this, I was shocked. B/c I had always felt they had betrayed me for not keeping their promise. When they said they would invite me, I believed their words, but later on finding out that they really said it for being polite.
I sometimes watch this program called the Real World. B/c the program teaches you so many things about getting along with people so different from you. They intentionally combine people of different races, religion, sexual orientation, world view. I came to fully believe that that Real World truly represents our own world in which we live today. It teaches us how we are to relate to one another in this real world.
It had also taught me the importance of opening up your home to people. How would you ever know someone unless you spend time with them, talk to them, exchange ideas, eat with them, sleep with them, cry with them, laugh with them. When you live with people, you really get to know the true person. Often times it's hard to accept that true person, b/c they are so different from you. But it is really this acceptance of people's values and lifestyles that will make you accept the difference of this entire world. We live on this earth composed of vast difference in opinion and life styles and that makes the world so interesting. People love to travel just to find out how one is so different from another. Yet when it comes to sharing, they put up walls around them.
You cannot expect world peace when you are cooped up in your own little world. I know some people do not want to interact with others. They just like to feel secure and comfortable in their own little world, but that's being selfish. You are not concerned about the world, but only yourself. How can you ever expect world peace when you are only thinking about yourself. Always thinking about how we relate to others, to have the consciousness, awareness of knowing that you are not alone on this earth but we live together in one planet, sharing so many things, is so vital to our world peace.
As I am also a parent, I have the obligation to expose my kids to many different kinds of people. By exposing them to diversity, they will be given the opportunity to learn how to get a long with people so different from themselves. So in that sense, I believe the dormitory system is excellent. They are not too immature, they are ready, and they are flexible. I am so happy that I could give my child that opportunity which I believe he will cherish rest of his life.
I hope that he would learn the importance of world peace through living in the dormitory. You got to go and create these opportunities on your own or to make the initiative to reach out to invite people, to mingle with people. You cannot be fighting all the time, arguing b/c you don't understand what the other person is thinking. You need to communicate, to open up, to exchange ideas and values. It's OK that you have conflicts once in a while, it opens your eyes to see that people have different ideas and opinions and that's OK. The battle is not for you to win, the winner is in fact who could accept the others.
One needs to surround oneself with loving people. Not enemies. I would love to be surrounded by people whom I love. I want to bond together in love. The world I dream of. The world of peace and happiness. All united as one being. My dream for those days. Nora Kohri